Let’s Talk Libido: It’s Not Lost—It’s Just Asking for Support

By: Dr. Mary Knudsen ND

If your sex drive has gone MIA during menopause, you’re not alone—and you’re not broken.

Libido isn’t just about hormones (though estrogen and testosterone do play a role). It’s also about how your body feels, how you feel about your body, your energy levels, your relationship dynamics, and yes—even your stress levels and sleep quality.

So if desire has taken a dip, let’s unpack it with compassion—not shame.

What’s Really Going On?

Hormonal Shifts:
Lower estrogen can lead to vaginal dryness, thinning tissues, and even pain during sex. Testosterone (yes, women have it too!) also naturally declines, which can impact desire and sensitivity.

Physical Discomfort:
If sex doesn’t feel good, your body remembers. Painful sex = less desire. That’s why addressing vaginal health (hello, solutions for Genitourinary Syndrome of Menopause) is so key.

Stress & Fatigue:
Your brain is your biggest sex organ. If it’s overloaded with to-dos or running on empty, libido gets shut out.

Body Confidence:
Menopause changes our skin, weight, and energy—and all of that can affect how sexy we feel in our own skin.

Relationship Dynamics:
Emotional intimacy, communication, and trust all influence physical desire—especially during times of change.

5 Ways to Support Your Libido (Today):

Address Vaginal Discomfort:
Moisturizers, lubricants, and vaginal estrogen (or ospemifene) can reduce pain and boost sensation.

Reclaim Rest & Recovery:
Good sleep = better hormones. Try magnesium before bed, sleep hygiene routines, and mindful wind-downs.

Prioritize Pleasure (Outside the Bedroom):
Movement you enjoy, food you love, time in nature—it all reminds your nervous system what feeling good is like.

Communicate with Your Partner:
Talk openly about what feels good (and what doesn’t). Emotional connection builds the foundation for physical connection.

Get Curious, Not Critical:
Menopause is a new chapter. Approach your body with curiosity and care—not judgment.

Your pleasure, intimacy, and sexual health still matter. Let’s normalize the conversation, ditch the shame, and reclaim desire in a way that feels good for you.

You’re still powerful. You’re still sensual. And you’re still you.